How do we support people who need our help?
I remember vividly the weeks leading up to the national lockdown due to coronavirus in March 2020. I felt incredibly helpless in the face of rising case numbers and equally rising panic. In the hospital where I worked it was all we talked about. How could we cope with the coming onslaught? I was desperate to do something helpful but completely at a loss as to what I could do. How could I do something which helped people? Where could I make a difference?
I was struck by the adage I heard then ‘when you feel helpless, help others’. It occurred to me that what I could do was share my psychological knowledge about dealing with feelings. That I had something small to offer other people. I felt like I was taking a risk, putting videos out on you tube and hoping no one thought I was being too arrogant or that it was just generally unhelpful. I’m sure some people did think that, but other people have said to me since how helpful they found the webinars.
Now, I find myself in a similar position again. As I watch the news footage of refuges and injured Ukrainians I feel helpless. I visited Lviv when I was living in Bosnia in the 2000s. It’s full of people like you and me. People who just want to do the right thing and support their families and have fun and not be in fear of their lives. How can I do something which can change this geopolitical crisis?
I come back again to thinking I can do what I know. I can share my knowledge about what is helpful. So here are some things that might help you
- Think about your children or children you know who might be struggling. Even young children have been discussing the crisis with me, so it’s clearly something they are aware of. They hear snatches of news on the radio or hear adults discussing it. They see headlines and distressing pictures in newspapers in the shops. They know when there is distress in the air. So don’t assume they don’t know anything and should be protected. Talk to them about what is happening. There is great advice on how to do this here.
- As adults or young people, we might be feeling afraid or angry or powerless in the face of what is happening. We might feel emotional or annoyed or anxious. If you’re struggling emotionally with what is happening, do something that helps others. We know that helping others has a positive effect on our mental health. We also know that contributing when we feel powerless reduces our powerlessness. You could give to a reputable charity (The Red Cross, The UN high commission for refugees, Hope and Homes for children, Save the Children) or offer your spare room for a refugee through the government scheme (LINK HERE). You could volunteer to sort donations or staff a reception centre or even just donate some nappies, food or clothes.
- Mobilise communities. We know communities and groups are good for our mental health and they do amazing things for others too. So if you belong to a choir/lego club/book group/football team/school/PTA/parents group/any other group think about how you can help in Ukraine. Does your group have a space they can offer for refugees? (LINK HERE) Does your group have the capacity to fund raise or to collect for a charity? Can it raise awareness. Can it do something good for other people?
We live in times which are often difficult-emotion-inducing. We’ve just come through 2 pandemic years and are still ‘living with covid’. Then a country is invaded and people are suffering. In the midst of all this it can be easy to think the world is a difficult place to be. Hold on to hope that things will get better. And look for what’s going well. That the sun is shining today. That the daffodils are looking lovely, that the hoovering/homework is done or that there is something delicious for tea. Finding joy in the small things and in the everyday as well as in the big acts of kindness (look at the outpouring of donations and support following the invasion or the rainbows during Covid) helps us see humanity at its best. And that’s really something to hold on to and fight for.