Comparisons and difference

We spend a lot of time wondering if what we are doing is good enough. If we are working hard enough, eating healthy enough, looking smart/trendy enough, raising our children well enough. Are we good enough friend/partner/parent/sibling etc? Are we doing things right? We look at other people and we think what they are doing is better. We notice the differences and often we come up wanting. The human brain is designed to focus on problems, on flaws. This is part of our evolutionary behaviour aimed at survival. To survive means fitting in with the pack, doing as others do, being the same and being good at everything which is required

This video is brilliant, because it highlights that not everyone sees differences in the same way. This can be incredibly helpful, not just when thinking about difference and diversity, but also for thinking about being good enough. What is obvious to one person isn’t even being thought about by another person. Next time you make a comparison between you and someone else, try to imagine all the possible things they might be thinking. It’s very likely that they aren’t berating you for not being good enough.

None of us can predict accurately what is going on inside other people’s head, but often they aren’t thinking what we imagine they are. What you see as an example of why you’re not good enough may be seen by them as a great feature of your independence or self-awareness. Or they may not have even noticed. Or, or, or…..

Our internal critic is something we all carry with us. Next time your internal critic points out something that you aren’t doing as well as the rest of the population, just notice it. Just stop and recognise that your critic is talking. That’s the first step to changing how much you listen to that critic…

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