Today’s blog was written by Rachel Howard, Assistant Psychologist at Headspace Guildford.
Have you just finished school or university? This time can be very conflicting. It is both exciting and unsettling when we think about what is next in life! For this reason, this blog post will be on endings and transitions.
As we end the school term and begin our summer, we can now prioritise what makes us happy. This can consist of hobbies and self-care. We can catch up on lost sleep, go on day trips and meet up with the friends we have not visited in a while. I have personally always viewed my summer as a time to reset.
On top of this, summer can be a great time to think about what you want to get out of the next year. Do you want to learn a new skill, take up a new hobby, or make new friends? The possibilities for the next year are endless, use summer as a time to reflect and set goals.
On the other hand, endings are bittersweet as we are saying goodbye and moving on in life. These endings may sometimes feel like a loss, as we move away from friends and leave our favourite teachers. It can also feel like a challenge as people’s expectations of us get greater, as we move up in the school years. However, as Lao Tzu says “new beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.” This means we often get swept up into viewing change as a negative event rather than seeing the positives that are to come.
It is okay to feel upset by change, it can be difficult. Allow yourself to think of all the good memories and achievements you have gained from the last year. Now think about how you may be able to recreate this positive feeling in the upcoming year. This may allow you to feel better about transitioning, it may even get you feeling a little excited. Let’s think together about how we can do this:
Example 1:
- Think of an event you feel proud of last year (e.g., “I signed up for a free online course, which I really enjoyed.”).
- How could you recreate this in the upcoming year (e.g., “I have now signed up to do a new free online course in the upcoming year.”).
Example 2:
- Think of a good memory from last year (e.g., “In our final year of college I regularly met up with friends at a cafe”).
- How could you recreate this in the upcoming year (e.g., “We are all going to different universities. As a solution to this we have agreed to keep in touch through online “tea and catch up” calls”).
Here are some additional ways to manage your feelings about endings and transitions:
- Celebrate your accomplishments over the last year,
- Reflect on how you have grown as a person,
- Recognise why you’re uncomfortable – how does this change make you feel,
- Allow yourself to relax – enjoy your summer and the time you have off,
- Be mindful of the near future – what do you want to accomplish in the next year
- Set yourself a positive mind-set about what is to come,
- And use these transitions as a springboard for new learning!!
For those leaving college or university I challenge you to explore change – allow yourself to feel okay with uncertainty, set yourself mini goals each week and keep a bit of a routine to your days. You have already achieved some much, be proud and excited at the opportunities that are coming your way!
You may have just ended one chapter of your life but you are about to start a new and exciting chapter very soon! We wish you luck!!
Other blog posts you may find beneficial during endings/transitions:
- Ways to help big feelings (http://headspaceguildford.co.uk/ways-to-help-big-feelings/)