See our first blog on extending the learning beyond therapy here Parenting to support emotional regulation
Managing big feelings is hard for all of us, and especially for children. Here are some first steps to extend the learning they are doing in sessions with their Clinical Psychologist at Headspace Guildford.
Steps 1 and 2 came last week, so now some more about parenting and big feelings.
3. Model the kinds of things you want to see
Therapy is about developing skills in identifying and naming feelings. Once a young person can do this they can then think more carefully about how they want to respond. The same is true for us as adults. So, get used to think about your own feelings, and talking about some of them in a measured way. So, for example, you might come in from work and say ‘phew, that was a stressful day. I was really worried I was going to be late for that meeting’. Choose things which you know you are feeling well-regulated (calm) about, so you are not dumping too much feeling on your child. Your aim is to show your child that it is normal to have feelings, that some are hard, that they can be managed even if they feel difficult to start with.
Sometimes as parents our feelings are also huge, and we might need some help making sense of them. This is a good clip about parents’ feelings from the brilliant people at circle of security. Watch it and see what else can help: https://vimeo.com/145329119
4. Be their biggest supporter
The biggest role for parents is to support your child all the way through therapy, just as you do all the time in life. Keep them going, let them know when they have done something you are proud of and notice when they are using the strategies they have learnt in therapy.
Parenting can be hard work. Take care of yourself and think about your feelings too. Much more on this in Ellie’s book here: Coping with parenting…book