Therapy and time with the psychologist at Headspace Guildford is one part of supporting your child or young person. But there are more hours out of the therapy room than there are in the room, so what happens at home, when you’re out, on the way school and everywhere else, living your life.
Parents often ask us how to best support their child outside therapy. Here are some initial steps which will help them use their learning in therapy.
Managing big feelings is hard for all of us, and especially for children. Here are some first steps to extend the learning they are doing in sessions.
- Reinforce the messages at home using similar language
In therapy we will use analogies, examples and language which helps your child understand how their brain works. These are adapted for their age and interests and try to make complex (and potentially boring) ideas about thoughts, feelings and behaviour fun and accessible. We will also make sure that we take a non-pathologising stance, which means we help your child to see it is not their fault, they are not deficient in some way and that change is not only possible, but likely. Listen to the language used in sessions and write down or remember the examples your psychologist shares. Bring this into your everyday language at home. Using a similar way of explaining any difficulties as they arise will help your child to apply the learning from therapy into everyday life. You can use words, phrases and ideas from the sessions. If you are not clear on these, ask your child to explain them to you or ask your psychologist for further information.
2. Normalise their feelings
Therapy can fun, enjoyable and rewarding, but it can also be hard work. If your child is finding it hard, or tiring, let them know that this is to be expected. Often, they are learning whole new ways of thinking, and this is effortful.
The same is true of life – life can be great but can also be hard work. School can be tiring, and difficult situations do crop up. Help your child to see this as part of the patchwork of life. Don’t dismiss their feelings or times of struggle but acknowledge them as a part of their journey. Understanding that feelings are a normal part of life and that sometimes things are hard can help your child learn to tolerate these bumpy times and hold on to hope that things will improve.
Parenting children with big feelings can be hard work. Check our next week’s blog for more suggestions on extending the learning in therapy into your home and your child’s every day life.
Also check out Ellie’s book (Coping with parenting…) which has lots more on this topic. See Coping with parenting…book